Welcome to Advertising 101: The Early TV Years. This is a three-credit course (not offered fall 2023, or any other time)
First, an announcement: Regrettably, Don Draper couldn’t make it today—but he sends us his regards.
The premise of this morning’s get together: You and I, the Baby Boomers, were brainwashed—yes brainwashed—in the impressionable years of our youth. No, not by Soviet agents, but by the Mad Men of Madison Avenue. Their electronic medium of choice was television. We were the first TV generation, and we were bombarded by ads that remain stuck in our heads to this day. Especially the slogans and jingles. And also the characters that were invented for commercials.
Our objective this morning is to demonstrate just how much we were brainwashed by recalling those slogans and jingles. To do so, I need your help.
This is an audience participation event!! Get ready to call out your answers. If you don’t know one, you’ll probably remember the next one. The slogans and jingles are grouped in categories by similar type of message, psychological pitch, etc.
Finish the advertising line for us, and then give the product name.
Sounds/other onomatopoeic effects:
Plop! Plop! Fizz! Fizz! [Oh! What a relief it gives] [Alka-Seltzer]. `
Brusha, brusha, brusha [Ipana Toothpaste]
Munch, munch, munch a bunch of [Fritos Corn Chips] It’s not polite to smack your lips, but you just can’t help it with Fritos corn chips
Ding dong,[Avon] calling!
Snap, crackle and pop! [Kellogg’s Rice Crispies]
[Mr. Clean] gets rid of dirt and grime and grease in just a minute!
[Mr. Clean will clean your whole house and everything that’s in it!]
Call [Roto-Rooter), that’s the name, [and away go troubles down the drain]
[Raid House & Garden Bug Killer] Kills bugs dead!
Elimination of embarrassments/undesirable conditions
Given the condition, tell us the product name:
Ring around the collar (Wisk)
Tired blood (Geritol)
Dish pan hands (Palmolive)
Horrid age spots (Esoterica)
Drive your [Chevrolet] through the USA (sung by Miss Dinah Shore)
Smiling faces, going places [Eastern Airlines]
Fly the friendly skies of [United Airlines]
Up, up and away [TWA] (uses Fifth Dimension song)
Finger-lickin’ good [KFC]
[Kool-aid, Kool-aid], tastes great, Wish I had some, Can’t wait.
M-m good, [Campbell’s soup] is m-m good.
[Winston] tastes good, like a cigarette should. (incorrect grammar)
Take a puff, it’s springtime. (Salem menthol cigarettes)
Things go better with [Coke]
Curiously refreshing! (Schweppes Bitter Lemon)
Don’t squeeze the [Charmin] (toilet paper)
Fun, carefree life
[Miller] is the one beer to have [when you’re having more than one]
If you’ve got the time, we’ve got the beer [Schlitz]
Go [Greyhound] and leave the driving [to us]
Live Modern [L & M cigarettes]
[Pepsi], for those who think young.
What a chunk o’ chocolate! [Chunky][Arnold Stang]
** Sometimes you feel [like a nut, sometimes you don’t [Almond Joy and Mounds candy bars][Later, Fischer’s nuts]
With a name like [Smucker’s], it’s got to be good!
No matter what shape your stomach’s in [Alka Seltzer][T-Bones song]. How about a nice [Hawaiian Punch]?
I can’t believe I ate the whole thing! (Alka Seltzer)
Mikey likes it! [Life Cereal]
Ha-lo, halo [Halo shampoo]
Hot dogs, [Armour hot dogs], the dogs kids love to bite
Think small [Volkswagen][print ad][Doyle Dane Bernbach]
The best part of waking up is [Folger’s] in your cup.
Use of negative/double negatives
You don’t have to be Jewish to like [Levy’s Rye]
Nobody doesn’t like [SaraLee]
Hey Mabel, get [Black Label] beer
Get [Wildroot Cream Oil], Charlie!
Sorry, Charlie! [Sunkist tuna]
More [Park sausages], Mom!
Hey [Culligan Man]!
Appeal to kids
I want my [Maypo] (maple-flavored oatmeal)
My bologna has a first name, it’s [O-S-C-A-R]. My bologna has a second name, it’s [M-a-y-e-r]. Oh, I love to eat it every day, and if you ask me why I’ll say, ‘cause [Oscar Mayer] has a way with b-o-l-o-g-n-a!
There’s always room for [J-e-l-l-o]
Everyone knows it’s [Slinky]
[Kix] are for kids
It’s got GO POWER. There he goes. [He’s feeling his Cheerios]
** I love [Bosco], so rich and chocolatey. Chocolate-flavored Bosco is mighty good for me. Momma puts it in my milk for extra energy. Bosco gives me iron and sunshine vitamin D. Oh, I love Bosco! That’s the drink for me!
** Once there was an engineer, Choo-Choo Charlie was his name we hear. He had an engine and it sure was fun. He used [Good & Plenty], to make his train run. Charlie says, Love my [Good & Plenty!” Charlie says, “Really rings the bell!” Charlie says, “Love my [Good & Plenty]! Don’t know any other candy, that I love so well.
Specific Desirable quality
When you’re out of [Schlitz], you’re out of beer
** Double your pleasure, double your fun, with [Wrigley’s Doublemint gum][flavor is double-distilled mint]
** You’ll wonder where the yellow went [when you brush your teeth with Pepsodent]
[M & Ms] melt in your mouth, not in your hands
[Certs] is a breathe mint, [certs is a candy mint], [Certs] is two mints in one.
[Ajax][detergent] is stronger [than dirt]
You get a lot to like: [filter..flavor…flip-top box][Marlboro cigarettes]
[Kaiser] foil is quilted, and it’s the only one that is.
[Merrill Lynch] is bullish on America. [Bulls were from Mexico]
Piggyback refill [PaperMate pens]
Busy day, busy day. Busy, busy, busy day. [Jello instant pudding]
Don’t wrap it, bag it, with [Baggies]. It’s in the bag. (Baggies food storage bags)
Product usage/handling information
I’m [Chiquita banana], and I’m here to say, bananas need to ripen in a special way]
[Wonder Bread] builds strong bodies 12 ways
Take [Sominex] and sleep. Safe and restful sleep, sleep, sleep.
Oh, I wish I was an [Oscar Mayer Weiner]. That is what I’d truly like to be.
I’m [Buster Brown], I live in a shoe. Look for my dog Tige, he lives in there, too.
Cross-over ethnic appeal
Man, oh Manischewitz [kosher wine]
That’s Italian! [Ragu Spaghetti sauce]
Selling a whole product category, not a brand
Make it hefty, hot and hearty. Take [tea] and see.
[Orange juice] It’s not just for breakfast anymore.
Geographic connection – cities
[Rice-a-Roni], the San Francisco treat
The beer that made Milwaukee famous, [Schlitz]
Geographic connection-mythical sounding
The finest apples from Apple Land [make Mott’s apple sauce taste grand!]
In the valley of jolly-ho-ho-ho-[Green Giant][vegetables]
[Chex cereals] from Checkerboard Square
Come to where the flavor is, come to [Marlboro Country]
Superlative, unique quality
It’s the real thing [Coke]
[Bounty], the quicker picker upper
Everything’s better with [Blue Bonnet] on it. [margarine]
Nothin’ says lovin’ like something from the oven, and [Pillsbury] says it best.
The breakfast of [champions!] [ Wheaties]
It’s shot from guns! [Quaker Puff Rice]
It takes a licking, and keeps on ticking [Timex watches]
[Maxwell House], good to the very last drop
[Pan Am] makes the going great
Where there’s life, there’s [Bud]weiser
Living bra (Playtex)
[Chock Full o’ Nuts] is that heavenly coffee
It’s the ultimate trip! [2001: A Space Odyssey][Tom Pierce ‘68]
Highest competitive quality
When you care enough [to send the very best][Hallmark greeting cards]
Heavens to Betsy, [Burry’s are good, the best darn cookies in the neighborhood]
Bring out the Hellman’s, bring out the best [mayonnaise—Best is the name in the West].
The standard of excellence (Cadillac)
The King of Beers [Budweiser]
The champagne of bottled beer [Miller]
[N-e-s-t-l-e-s, Nestle’s] makes the very best chocolate
Consumer assurance message
Like a good neighbor [State Farm] is there
[Nationwide] is on your side
You can trust your car to the man who wears the star.[Texaco]
We try harder [Avis]
Personal attractiveness/feeling of superiority
Look sharp, feel sharp, be sharp! How are you fixed for blades? [Gillette]
Aren’t you glad you use [Dial]? Don’t you wish everyone did?
[Pepsi], for those who think young
Wouldn’t you rather have a [Buick]?
[Brylcreem], you’ll look so debonair; [Brylcreem], a little dab’ll do ya; [Brylcreem], the gals’ll all pursue ya, they love to run their fingers through your hair!
Let [Hertz] put you [in the driver’s seat]
Put a tiger in your tank (Esso/Exxon]
Have it your way [Burger King]
You deserve a break today [McDonalds]
You’ve come a long way, [Baby][Virginia Slims][sponsored tennis tournament—athletes should smoke?]
I’d love to buy the world a [Coke]
We come now to the adult portion of the program!
Sexual innuendo/double entendre/sexist objectification
My men wear [English leather], or they wear nothing at all!
Does she or doesn’t she [Clairol]
Take it off, [take it all off] [Noxzema Shave Cream][Joe Namath with beautiful women
It’s not how long you make it, [it’s how you make it long] [Winston Super King cigarettes]
You can Fly Me morning, afternoon or night. Just say when. I’m Judy, and I was born to fly. Fly me. [National airlines]
[Ban] takes the worry out of being close
Don’t leave home [without it][American Express-later, 1975]
I could’ve had a V8 [vegetable juice)
—anger, then regret
Please, mother, I’d rather do it myself! [Anacin]
Stannous fluoride [Crest toothpaste][Crest has been shown to…]
Bufferin [buffered aspirin]
Magna-traction [Lionel trains]
Twist-o-Flex [Speidel watch bracelet]
Micronite filter [Kent cigarettes]
Space age products
[Oldsmobile] Rocket 88 engine [overhead valve, cross flow, V8]
Radarange microwave oven (Amanda)
Wake up to [Tang]! The happiest thing that ever happened to breakfast! [astronauts]
Commander Whitehead [Schweppes Bitter Lemon Tonic]
Bucky Beaver [Ipana Toothpaste]
Tony the Tiger [Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes]
The Marlboro Man
Snap, Crackle and Pop [gnome characters, Kellogg’s Rice Krispies]
Elves (Keebler Cookies]
Farfel the Dog [Nestle’s Chocolate]
The Ale man [Ballantine Ale]
The Culligan Man
Kool-Aid Man [face on jug]
Charlie the Tuna [Star Kist]
The Lonely Repairman [Maytag]
Choo Choo Charlie (Good & Plenty)
Frito Bandito (non-PC!)
Crying Indian. [Keep America Beautiful—actor was actually Italian-American]
And, finally, as Howard Steinberg reminded me,…
What do you say to your DeSoto dealer? Tell ’em GROUCHO sent you!!
And by the way, we’re in distinguished rock and roll company with our brainwashing complaint. The Rolling Stones themselves lamented TV ads in their famous anthem:
When I’m watchin’ my TV
And a man comes on and tells me
How white my shirts can be
But he can’t be a man ’cause he doesn’t smoke
The same cigarettes as me
I can’t get no… (satisfaction)!!